Here’s a letter from my dog, Eddie, to Donald Trump.
Donald,
For the love of our country, please STOP the TWITTER nonsense! Please, just stop. Tie your thumbs to your fingers if you must. Practice some restraint (like I do when I want to bark all night long at nothing but the wind). You are not the KING of the planet in much the same way that I am not the KING of the house (or so I’ve been told). You have so much to LEARN (but don’t we all?).
Everything that happens does not warrant an immediate defensive/offensive twitter response. Leading the country is not the job of a shock-jock or a celebrity. Please stop lying. I may not be a Bloodhound but I can smell a lie from a mile away and I don’t even have to be downwind. You are now a servant (I know you’re not used to that descriptor) for the American people, but you are not the very FIRST or ONLY one. Take a moment to reflect. Do you really want the country to come together? Maybe you should stop patting yourself on the back over your master con/bribe “deal” skills and halt the silly attention-craving “victory” tour. Instead of incessantly congratulating yourself, perhaps you can show some humble reverence for those who have worked tirelessly for the betterment of our Nation and our people. You can do this by simply observing public servants in action, and listening for a change.
Use this precious “pre-oath” time wisely. Stop chewing your buttery prime rib (oh my God it looks absolutely delicious) and READ something. You are the President-Elect. Act like an adult and stop this Twitter madness. Donald, we the people (and all the dogs who think they are people), are not stupid. Tweets will not protect us. Tweets will not create or keep jobs in America. Tweets will not solve global problems or improve foreign relations. Tweets will not save our planet (or take us to the park for that matter). Kindly lift your tiny thumbs up and off that tiny keyboard for a moment and do some old fashioned thinking instead.
Perhaps it’s time to employ a “measure twice, cut once” philosophy to your daily routine, especially when it comes to your words. Listen, here’s the only REAL advice I can give you. It comes from experience, and it’s pretty solid (most of the time): NEVER poop in the house (or ON it). It makes EVERYONE mad, (even those who actually like you). People will resent cleaning up the dirty messes that you carelessly leave behind, and they WILL NOT trust you anymore. Trust is earned. I found this out the hard way, just sayin’.
Oh, and when possible, please provide the list of the millionaire-billionaires that you are adding to your cabinet…the ones who will be waiving their government salaries. Thanks.
From,
Eddie 
PS – One more small tip: a playful sense of humor might help a little too. Alec Baldwin is an actor, Donald. He’s an ACTOR. Cool your jets, and laugh once in a while, okay? No one likes a sour puss.
Cute satire.
Please change the channel sometimes and stop watching liberal news. You obviously are not listening to anything he says and are hardened against him so it makes for a very closed minded view and as if it now makes no diff what he says, you will always be against him. It is almost 2017 and Tweeting is a way to communicate. I follow him and others. At least it is not being skewed by the media, whether you like what he is saying or not. He is unconventional but so are you and thank God for that.
It is a Thank You tour, not a Victory tour. There is a difference.
He is also very funny, not sure why you say he never laughs or smiles. SNL went a little over the top but that is what they do.
You say he lies, well, if you really listen you will see his words are being manipulated to appear that way. His cabinet is made up of very successful business people who come with a plethora of knowledge, life experiences and successes AND is diverse. It is a concept that our country needs as the life long politicians have failed us.
It really is time to move on and accept. There is much work to be done and no room for bitterness. Give PE Trump and his administration a chance. He has respect for the office. Check out some of these people he is tapping on Wikipedia, including Bannon. Really listen and not just base stuff on talking points and clips. You say he does not listen when he has had so many people meeting with him and when interviewed later, all say he listens very carefully? Why do you say such things? It is not constructive even if you are trying to be funny. Just saying…
Again, time to move as you are proliferating the separation of people. You are better than this!
❤️️
Let’s see…where to start. First of all, you have NO IDEA what media I watch, listen to, or read. But, go ahead and ASSUME that because I don’t like Trump I must somehow NOT have all my facts straight. It MUST be because I simply need to change the channel. I’m not “hardened” against Trump now any more than I was before. I found him ridiculous on TV when he engaged in a low-class reality show, I found him despicable in interviews LONG BEFORE he ran for President, and I find him EXTRA gross now that he’s the President-Elect representing our country. Your suggestion that I only watch/read/listen to liberal news sources tells me that you immediately project a set of assumptions about people who do not agree with your support of Trump.
Closed-minded? Seriously? That’s a good one. If being closed-minded means I’m against hatred, racism, sexism, misogyny, pussy grabbing, name calling, reactionary (and exclusionary) thinking, proven SCIENCE, and exploiting the ignorant for votes, then go ahead and call me closed-minded. I’m against LYING and the SPREADING FAKE NEWS stories as well, so you can add that to the list of how I, personally, am closed-minded.
The media continues to skew information on BOTH sides – that has certainly been established. Yes indeed, the world and almost all of our news sources continue to SPIN stories. The best way to stay unbiased is to watch and listen to Trump himself. He has proven time and again that the media need not fabricate a damn thing about him…it’s all there for our viewing and listening (dis)pleasure. The camera and the microphone don’t lie. His recorded history doesn’t lie.
And yes, Twitter is obviously a communication tool – no shit. Trump using Twitter to admonish an actor portraying him in a comedic skit on SNL shows me that he’s juvenile. And you will not, for one minute, convince me that he, himself is not a liar. Actually, he’s an orange liar, which is the worst kind a person can be – a liar who lies on purpose. As you know he was worried about the popular vote making him look bad so he tweeted a big fat lie about the “millions” of people who voted illegally. The thing about tweeting is that it’s an actual real-time record – and it’s disheartening to know that our President-Elect would type in a complete lie, hit post, and then go on his merry way like it was nothing.
The laundry list of disgraced politicians is extensive, but lifelong politicians have NOT failed us. Our elected political leaders have facilitated progress in the areas of civil Rights, gender equality, a woman’s right to GOVERN her own body, and equal rights for the LGBTQ community and other marginalized American people under our Constitution just to name but some. Thumb through a history book at some point to see just how far we’ve come. Regression via judgement and fear is SO OVER. And by political leaders I’m not just talking about Democrats, so try not to assume, though even you must admit that those Dems sure do try to work for PEOPLE instead of corporations.
Bannon? Bannon is a pig. No one has encouraged the separation of people via brain-washing more than he has, but of course he gets a free pass, RIGHT?
Oh, and Trump as President? I’ve accepted it. You saying that I haven’t is yet another assumption on your part. I’m not holding out hope that the recount or the Electoral college will change anything but if by “moving on” you simply want me to “shut up” that’s not going to happen. Everyone has a voice, and I’m using mine. Bitterness? Nope. I’m a happy camper these days and I’m hoping for the best. I’m hoping that Mr. Trump will tone down his TWITTER feed, and do his job.
Debbie – Eddie wrote a funny (in my opinion) little tongue in cheek BLOG piece. Thank goodness our country is still FREE, and you can disagree with me (in a somewhat condescending way) and try to “correct” everything I post these days, but please, do me a favor, and try NOT to assume. YOU are better than that.
Woof (=word)
🙂
Oh, I LOVED this, Kim. So, so much. Thank you for sharing Eddie’s spot-on perspective (and for being so damn creative in sharing your own). xx
Thank you Helen! I appreciate the read, and the spirit in which it was received because it was certainly intended as lighthearted. For the most part, LOL. I think Eddie made some good points… I could have lived without the poop analogy, but you know dogs… They write what they know. ?
Oh sweet, sweet Eddie!!! I think this was your first shot taking paw to paper, and it was truly solid! Keep at it…Relish in the praise and don’t be discouraged by any negativity! Preach love! Preach acceptance! Preach himalayan yak milk chews!!!! Xoxo
Thank you! Eddie came to me, troubled, and told me that he needed to get some of his feelings off his chest… I told him to go for it. Free speech. I’m proud of him. Writing isn’t easy, and it was courageous of him to make his opinion known. ❤️