Mother’s Heart by Kim Valzania

It’s true, I do,

I stand guard, I always will,

I always will, over you,

because you,

you grew inside me

And now I’m inside you too

whether you want me

there or not

I was enchanted by

your little fingers,

your little toes,

and the fact that

you had my mother’s nose

so tiny, a girl

making little sounds, a little girl

another healthy child

made me a young mother,

a naive mother of two

you with your happy face

and your happy heart

you who showed me your assertions

right from the start

as I fed you from my breast

I did that too

It was me, always me

pouring myself into you

so yes

yes I stand guard

and always will

and

I know the mistakes I made

all the charges I accrued

but I watched you triumph anyway

as I decanted

into you,

a burdensome kind of love

a yearning imbue

passed down, passed through,

my own issues, my weakness

it’s who I was, not you

you have to understand

that it was impossible not to

it’s the way of things

but I’m sorry

I’m sorry too

that you now carry these mistakes

my defeat

on your back

I’m sorry

is all I can say…

because in those moments I lacked

all that I know now

And all that I see now

how a mother’s mistakes cling

and how my fears made them sting

and if I can step back now

just step back

I know you will make your way,

because you know how

you always have

so shrug me off

shed me

don’t let me

blanket you

let your truth, your divinity be told

let your honest soul and your beauty unfold

be as brave and as bold

as you were the day you were born

before I poured myself into you

(some of it good)

But shed me, please

and I will make do, I promise,

I will do that for you

But I will still stand guard, I will

Because my heart

my lioness heart,

a mother’s heart

guards your heart too

Oh my little girl

because you grew inside me

and now

I am inside you.