A Mindful Makeover

Permanent weight loss is about more than just a new diet and exercise program.  Way more.  A lot of things need to come together (a “perfect storm” if you will) in order for a person to make lasting, healthy changes.   Changes that actually transform a person.  Changes that liberate a person from suffering, ignorance and craving.  Changes that bring a person to a place of higher wisdom and discernment.  To get to that place, diet and exercise are not enough.

My success has been the result of a consistent eating and exercise program, combined with what I now refer to as a “mindful makeover.”  A mindful makeover involves reflection, self-awareness, and learning to think differently about your whole life.  It doesn’t happen overnight, but if you are open to new ideas, you can become “awakened” to a blissful, new purpose while your body is changing.  Awareness, reflection, and thinking differently will add some needed fuel to your success…and it will, in time, anchor your new healthy habits.  For me, it was about committing to a regular yoga practice that encouraged a better understanding of an ancient philosophy.  It was also about adhering to a program of morning mantras (however weird that may sound), and some good, old-fashioned journal keeping. Initially, I used these activities as exercises in creating continuity and discipline.  But as I began to really unplug and put myself first, I found myself in the middle of a full-blown mindful makeover that effectively eliminated some of the stress of trying to lose weight.  Here’s what happened:

First, I looked for, and found pleasure in people, places, and things that did not involve food.

Then, I simplified my life and schedule by choosing to focus on these three areas:

1. I wanted my kids to be happy.  I did this by “letting go” of them.  I stopped hovering.  They are both adults, and can certainly live and make many decisions without my input.  In freeing them from my constant, unsolicited advice and involvement, I essentially freed myself.
2. I wanted to be fit and healthy.  I did this by saying “no” to crappy food, and “yes” to exercise.  People often make it more complicated than that, but weight loss really is that simple.     
3. I wanted my marriage to be stronger.  I did this my making the effort to “date” my husband again.  I made time for him, and in doing so, he made time for me.  Sometimes one person has to take the first step toward the middle, and I decided that it may as well be me.  It worked.

I expanded my intellect by reading more.  For example, I read quite a bit about Buddhism, Hinduism and the many facets of yoga.  And guess what?  It all makes sense.  A life philosophy born from finding peace, and striving to just be a more peaceful human being, (one who does no harm and accepts no harm) is something I can stand behind. Finding degrees of tranquility and insight through meditation just makes sense to me. And it’s quite okay if this stuff is not for you.  The point I’m trying to make is that it’s important to find new and interesting ways of thinking within your own life.  What appeals to you and makes sense?  What doesn’t?  Find out.    

Slowly, I got out of my own head and out of my own way for good.  When you’re in the middle of a mindful makeover, you begin to really feel what’s happening to you and around you in the present moment.  That’s what being mindful is all about.  Instead of pining for a future I wanted, or insanely hoping for a way of life I wasn’t willing to work for, I began to make strides in present moments by doing the actual work it takes to make actual changes. Being mindful means “owning” your shit.  You must own what you decide to haul around, and what you decide to drop from your cart.  

I also stopped glorifying busy. I stopped filling my hours with meaningless activity.  I stopped talking about what I had to do all the time.  I have never, ever been too busy to take care of myself, and yet that was my common “go-to” excuse.  I used “being busy” over and over again to avoid doing the things I needed to do to really change my quality of life.

Additionally, I began implementing a “morning mantra.”  A re-occurring theme for me seemed to come in the form of the following question:  “You were younger yesterday…what would you tell your younger self today?”  If my answer was “be more patient” (for example) then that became my mantra.  I focused on changing.  I would reflect on situations, and moments during the day before and make some candid observations about my behaviors and reactions.  Then, I wrote them down.  Nothing lengthy or time-consuming – just some notes here and there.  It’s easy to “forget” how you felt once your day has passed.  But, when you are trying to understand why and how your triggers for over-eating (as a coping mechanism) reveal themselves, a small journal can be a very powerful tool for authentic progress.

A mindful makeover involves continuous reflection, being both “ready and open” to make changes, and quite possibly adopting alternate ways of thinking about what really makes you tick.  Losing weight is never just about diet and exercise.  It’s also very much about changing your mind so that your negative behaviors will change. Participating in a mindful makeover could very well be the most important piece of your own weight loss puzzle.  You may indeed be able to change your body with diet and exercise, but your weight loss will not last unless you change your mind.