Ahhh, motivation. It is indeed a conundrum. It can be a difficult thing to capture and maintain. What motivates you, and what helps you keep that feeling? I have wondered about what drives motivation – the before and after parts of any sort of success. It’s easy to get excited about a new idea or plan, and it’s easy to get started if you are genuinely enthusiastic and ready. Think about how you feel when you start a new diet or exercise program, or the burst of energy you have when you want to get organized. You can desire the end result, but holding on to that excitement, that motivation to get there is quite another task. When we begin the process of completing something new, how do we maintain the motivation to finish it? And when we finish, how do we stay motivated to keep the result of our efforts?
It’s about action, before and after
The first part, the “before” part, is actually quite easy. You see something and you want it. For example, if you see an image of a physically fit person, you can think, “oh, I want to look like that or I want to be like that.” The desire to change yourself is there. In any given day, you can have numerous little mini-inspirations, such as, “from now on, I’m going to be on time” or “I’m going to clean my house twice a week without fail” or “I will exercise every day.” It’s always easy to make declarations. “I want to run a half marathon” comes to mind. Becoming motivated simply comes from longing, extreme desire, or having an “achievable dream” for ourselves. When we believe in our hearts that a goal is reachable, we can set our intentions and ambitions in motion to fuel that goal. But, that being said, the goal in mind has to really matter. You will never take action to achieve anything if it doesn’t really matter to you.
The “after” part, staying motivated, comes from expectation. With weight loss and fitness, (for me anyway), preserving motivation comes from knowing, remembering, and constantly reminding myself how life used to be before I changed. These days, I expect to maintain my weight loss as long as I continue to take action. Keeping my achieved goal is more important than any sort of discomfort or fleeting annoyance I feel when I can’t have what I want (the extra slice, for example). I know that if I expect to keep weight off, I can’t lay on the couch every day. Action will always be required, even if it feels mundane.
How do we get in our own way?
We procrastinate and we lie. Change isn’t easy because we must lose something in order to change. You can’t stay in your same comfort zone and expect that your goals will magically come to fruition. But the good news is there is always less to lose than people think. Think about bad habits. For example, someone who is trying to quit smoking has to get over the fact that she won’t have her 5-minute cigarette break every hour or so – making part of the process of quitting an emotional withdrawal and not just a physical one. Change is not comfortable or fun so we put it off, and we lie by coming up with reasons why we can’t possibly do it. We say things like “next year” or “tomorrow” or “when my job becomes less hectic” or “it’s just too hard for me”. Motivation has a lot to do with visualizing what it will feel like when we are finished, while taking action to change. You can’t hope for motivation, you have to take action, even if it’s minimal and/or uncomfortable for a while. Motivation is powered by results. A person who takes action becomes empowered to stay motivated.
Do something small first
Small changes make way for bigger ones. Before you tackle a big change, make a small one. Maybe you can put less sugar in your coffee – 1 teaspoon instead of 2. Maybe do that for three weeks. After three weeks, you may not want the second teaspoon. Maybe your thing is butter, I don’t know. Maybe you want to count to ten before yelling at your kids. Maybe you want to do all of your laundry on Sunday morning. No matter. Make some sort of small change, do it for three weeks, and see what happens. Your ability to take action to tackle a big change becomes more possible and probable when you can tally up some small successes.
Remember too that disappointment is inevitable. You will experience failure. But failure is an opportunity to tweak your actions. What you do with disappointment could be the difference between you and your goal. Some people quit, because they are not seeing results. Most people detest the struggle that is often required to advance. If there is no straight or immediate way to become successful in your pursuit, the quest to change does not even begin for many. Fortune favors the brave, and action alone will clear the path along the way. I use the phrase “get over it” in much of my writing. In my experience, I have had to say to myself, “I don’t like it, I’m not comfortable, I don’t want to do it, but I’m going to do it anyway,” and in those moments, when I’ve taken action, despite my feelings, I end up feeling happy that I did, and motivated by my positive choices in the face of negative feelings.
Decide WHAT matters and that YOU matter
Attention and effort are part of the motivation equation. You have to be willing to take time away from other parts of your life in order to give your goal the attention and the effort that you need to give it. With running, I find that I am always so very satisfied when the run is completed. I am not that excited during the first mile, but by mile three or four, I begin to feel truly motivated. My motivation to keep running comes after I run, not before. But not every day (or every run for that matter) will be a good one. You will have your human moments – moments when you want to throw in the towel. During these times, it’s important to breathe, get over it, and simply begin again. Slow and steady is what we are after. Nothing worth having or doing comes in one fell swoop or without obstacles.
Motivation is about deciding what really matters to you, and that you are worth it – that you matter. You matter enough to make changes. It’s about living your life to the fullest potential, and loving yourself enough to do the work so that you can enjoy the wondrous life that is yours in the process. It’s about letting go of “hope” and clinging to action. Action, not hope, is what makes the difference. When you look at it this way, capturing and maintaining motivation is a puzzle solved.
