“Change the voices in your head. Make them like you instead.” ~ Pink
Those strong-arm voices inside your head that say, “no you can’t” are liars. They want you to quit. Shut them down. Yes, right now. They are not your friends.
The voice imploring you to just keep your mouth closed, the one saying don’t argue, don’t resist, or persist, or protest. The one telling you it’s not worth it. That voice. Yes, that one. Don’t listen to her, she’s just tired. She wants you to give up, to stop fighting for what you want out of life. She wants it to be easy.
And the other one, the one who calls you fat, the one who says you have a double chin, and wiggly thighs, and oh God, that stomach. The repulsed one who scrutinizes every last inch of you. The one who inspects you, and squints at you. The one who checks you out from head to toe, who twirls you around in order to see every angle. That one. Well, she’s a real jerk. She wants you to hate yourself. She wants you to hide yourself. She wants you to cover up and stop kidding yourself. She’s yet another battering voice inside your head who would like you to disappear.
Look at the one rolling her eyes at you, telling you to stop drawing so much attention to yourself. The one who’s afraid of what people will say or think about you. The one watching the reactions of others, making sure you and your bawdy, brazen self are being well received. The one making sure there are smiles of acceptance. The one trying to read everyone. The one keeping you in check. Yes, that one. She’s annoying as fuck.
Oh, and the one throwing her hands up, telling you to just stop giving yourself away. That fearful one? She is dead wrong. Push her down. Knock her over. Send her flying. Blow right through her. She doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know what you’re made of, or why you need to write. She doesn’t know what’s inside your soul, clawing its goddamn way out. She doesn’t know your truth. She just knows where you’ve been. And she wants to keep you there, in her wasteland safety zone, all to herself.
And the one complaining when you run your miles, whining that your legs are too damn heavy, that you’re too damn slow. The one begging you to just stop this nonsense already, you’ll never be good enough or fast enough. The one cynically asking, “what makes you think you’re a runner?” The one saying it’s just too hard. The one who doesn’t want you to continue. The one who doesn’t want you to finish. That one. Well, she’s an asshole. Seriously. Tell her to talk to the hand because the head ain’t listening.
And that relentless voice, the gossiping one, the one talking about you when you’re standing right there, in front of the mirror. The one telling you things don’t look quite right. You’re too old for that skirt. You’re too short. Your jeans aren’t perfect, your shoes look silly. That one. Well, she’s as shallow as they come.
Oh, and the one who thinks you’re slutty because you really like sex? The one who is ashamed when you get lost in it? When you let yourself go? That censorious voice inside who still thinks you’re a “bad, dirty girl” for liking it, loving it in fact? The embarrassed one, beseeching you to act like a lady? The one reiterating what you, as a woman, were taught to think about your body? That your body is for him, but not you? Well, tell her to leave you alone. Slap her back with the fact that you’re happy and healthy and you’re allowed to like it. You were born to like it. You are a living, breathing woman. Your blood pumps and your libido rages on par with his, if not more. Do not apologize to her, that one who wants to keep you closed. Do not apologize, ever.
And the one inside you who says, “no, don’t.” Yes, her. Don’t is one of her favorite words. She’d rather be on the couch with her feet up. That’s what she prefers. She wants you to stop trying so hard. She keeps asking you why and what for? Hers is the small, incessant voice whispering that you don’t have enough time, or energy, or tenacity. You don’t deserve what you want. You’re not smart enough. Well, she’s wrong. She doesn’t want to put in the work because she is afraid of failure so she seeks to sabotage you instead. You know this about her, right?
But here’s the thing – there’s a different voice coming through, if you stop and listen for real. A resilient voice that asks why not and what if? One that says, of course you can. A voice that roars yes, you are lovable, strong, and funny. And yes, you are unabashedly sensual, and yes you deserve to be happy.
Yes, you are a fucking runner. Damn straight you are.
One that says, yes, go ahead and use that uncommon word in that ridiculously long sentence and see how much shit you stir up.
A voice that says yes, you are very much alive and very much enough. That one?
She’s your fiery Goddess, your wide awake Warrior within. And hers is the unbreakable voice who wants you to win. Listen to her, and watch those other voices, those mean girl voices, bow down. Watch them crumble, watch them fall to their knees in defeat.
If you listen, you will hear her powerful, Divine voice silence them, one by one.
Just close your eyes and listen.
Let her hush those raging, ruinous voices today and every day. Because they are liars, and liars are not your friends.