We all have a few pet peeves – the little, silly things that annoy us. Leaving the toilet seat up, long lines, slow drivers…dumb stuff like that. Moments that definitely irk us, and make us feel foul for a short time before we forget about them and move on. I, of course, have a few to discuss via blog post. Here is my list of 16 pet peeves because you know how I like a good list. See The List Making Gene
Breadcrumbs in the butter
People who spread butter on toast and then scrape excess butter from the knife back into the butter tub or onto the stick all crumbed up. Yes, “crumbed up” is what I’m calling it. I don’t know why this grosses me out but it does. I don’t want your damn, dirty breadcrumbs in my butter. Same goes for tuna chunks in the mayo.
When you text someone, and they don’t text back. At all. I mean, how difficult is it to reply, “got your text, I’ll respond in a bit when I can”? Is that too much of a complex skill to master? The least you could do is acknowledge the text. Even if you don’t like me.
A person who waits for her entire grocery order to be checked out, bagged, and put back into her carriage, before finally plopping her purse onto the counter to rummage around for her wallet. Then it takes her another five years to swipe her card (a few tries are always necessary) and punch the buttons. She always acts like she has never done it before. She peers over her glasses, taking her time to be sure she’s hitting the right buttons, and after every button push, she looks at the cashier just to be sure. This is usually the same person who just stands there when she sees no-one is bagging. She stares into space as her groceries run down the belt, colliding and pooling at the bottom. She waits for the cashier to finish ringing, doing nothing while said cashier finishes the order and then frantically starts bagging. This sort of person not only gets under my skin, but is a complete mystery to me.
The difference between a good tip and a bad tip is usually 3 – 5 dollars. That’s it. If you had good service, leave a good tip. Don’t act like you don’t know how to go out for dinner, or the waiter doesn’t deserve it. A decent tip is part of going out and paying for a meal. If your server was inattentive or mediocre, leave 10-12 percent. That’s fair and it sends a message. If your server is “fine”, leave 15 percent. If your server is good to excellent, leave at least 20 percent. Yes, 20 percent. Even if the food was bad. Just stop being cheap. Cheap is ugly. Don’t act like it’s a big difficult task to figure out how much to tip. And for the love of God, don’t break out the freaking calculator. We’re talking about a couple of bucks here. If you can’t spare a couple extra bucks, you have no business eating your meals out.
People who think it’s okay to come in 10 minutes late yoga class. They unravel their mats and get situated and walk around the room (oh so quietly of course) getting blocks, blankets and straps. They completely destroy my Zen. Real Yogi’s are not late for class, instead they arrive at least 10 minutes early. And by the way, this pretty much goes for any kind of lateness. Late isn’t cool, folks. Late sucks. Late makes the person who is waiting feel like she is not that important.
People who smoke, and then complain that they don’t have any money and they don’t feel good. No money and a little cough? Baffling. I just don’t understand.
Affluent people in down vests and $300 jeans who drive Range Rovers and shop in thrift stores and have the audacity to complain about the prices to the manager, who is actually just an older, retired woman who opened the non-profit, local thrift store so she could give scholarships to local kids whose parents can’t afford cars, down vests, or education.
When people pick their teeth with their finger nail, peer at what they’ve scraped off and then lick it back into their mouths. I mean, that makes you want to throw up, right?
People who seemingly don’t know the difference between too and to, then and than, lose and loose, there, their, and they’re and your and you’re. It’s not rocket science. Learn, people, learn. Do it right. There is still time.
People who don’t use spellcheck, or dictionaries, or punctuation. And, this is random, but people who used the expression, “weirded out” or say the word, “random.” We all know what you mean, but it’s just dumb. And by the way, it is not lost on me that the word “misspell” looks like it’s misspelled. It isn’t. I know because I looked it up. And while “misspellers” isn’t a real word, I will take a bit of creative liberty and use it anyway. I can use it because of my disclaimer.
In the same vein, I am bothered by people who say irregardless. It’s not a word. Stop. I once heard the Principal at my son’s high school use this word during a big, boring speech to an auditorium full of parents in an attempt to address his growing concerns about education. True story. Here’s a helpful link for more information in case you use this word: irregardless
The road is clear, and it has been for quite some time. You don’t know the person in the fender bender on I-84 in Waterbury, so no, you do not have to slow down to look. It’s okay to just drive past because clearly, the police are on it! Look, they’ve opened a lane and we can go! The police are figuring things out and they do not need our input! Is that why you were slowing down? To make sure they don’t need to ask you any questions? No? Then why are you going so slow? WHY. THE. F*CK. ARE. YOU. GOING. SO SLOW?!
People who interrupt, and/or talk over you. They interject and finish your sentences. I am indeed guilty of this sometimes for sure. I’m sorry. I’ll try harder. And while “interrupters” isn’t a real word, (I know this because I looked it up), I’m still going to take some creative liberties and use it. I can use it because of my disclaimer, and because I can be like that sometimes.
Parents who make excuses for their kids’ shitty behavior. “Oh he’s just a little tired”, or “Oh, he’s just hungry.” No, sorry, he’s neither of those things. Your kid is an asshole because there are no consequences for his behavior. Unless your kid is under three years old, I’m not buying the tired/hungry defense.
Story toppers, name droppers and photo bombers. You know these people…you tell them some little tidbit and they always know everything about it already because they’ve not only done it, or been there, they’ve done it and been there way better than you. And they know everybody. And they have to crash your photo and ruin it by crossing their eyes or making a weird hand gesture behind your back. You know these people, and they suck.
Did you mess up? Okay, no problem. Second chance granted! Did you mess up again? Okay…third chance! Nope. Not from me, anyway. If I give you a third chance, you are playing me and you consider me a chump. For serious offenses, third chances should never be granted. So be careful with that second chance, pal. You are lucky to have it.